Taylor

Taylor

By: E. M. Areson

My heart was pounding. I opened my eyes and reached for the lamp beside my bed. My dark bedroom instantly lit up when I flipped the switch. I looked over at my clock. 3:14 A. M. I’d been asleep about an hour and a half. My head ached and I rubbed my eyes. It was somehow not even surprising anymore. I set up. Maybe my mom wouldn’t notice if I just played on my phone. I grabbed my cell off my bedside table and looked for a game, none of them looked very appealing when I was this tired.

I played around for a while then decided to re-organize my closet. After all, I wasn’t going to sleep. I sat cross-legged in front of my closet. I pulled all my shoes out to pair them. Gray boot with a gray boot. Pink tennis shoe with a pink tennis shoe. Red high-heel. I blinked. I didn’t own a red high-heel. I didn’t own any high-heels.

I shivered. She did. She wore those heels every time I saw her. Wait. I’m asleep when I see her. I reached for the heel. It felt real. I looked closely. It also looked brand-new. But it was also wet. I dropped the shoe. It hurt when it hit my leg, but my lungs felt so tight I didn’t really think about it. I leaped up and backed away from the single red high-heel.

I set back down on my bed. Despite all my best efforts I began to cry. Sob. Weep. I hugged myself. Was my sanity really so frail? I looked at the red high-heel. I looked down at my feet. It wasn’t even my size, was it? It was hers though. I laid back and looked over at the clock. 3:37 A. M. I couldn’t look away from the heel and yet in an irrational way, I was afraid that something else might appear if I dismissed it.

I climbed back under the covers and shivered. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to fall asleep. I didn’t think I was going to, but I guess after a month of not sleeping more than three hours a night I was more tired than I thought. I only knew I had fallen asleep when I was in the elevator.

I was on my knees busy scrubbing the floor. I was trying to get rid of the stain on the carpet. I don’t know what it is, but it’s my job to clean it.

I saw her come out of the stairs and walk towards my elevator. She worked on the floor below. I don’t know what she did, but I knew she thought she was getting a promotion and wanted to see the floor where the new office would be. A man in the office next to the elevator started talking on his phone. I couldn’t see him but he was the only one left on the floor. She heard him though. I saw the blood drain from her face. She was afraid.

The man must have seen her because she hurried into the elevator and pulled out her phone and began talking like she had a call. I saw her red high-heels as she nervously tapped her foot. She pushed the down button and I thought she must not have seen me. The man came into the elevator and grabbed her. She screamed and I set up. He saw me for the first time.

He moved so fast I didn’t understand how he did it but within seconds I was thrown into the river. Which didn’t make any sense, being in an office building? I hated water. I could take a shower for hours but I hated it when my feet couldn’t touch the bottom of the pool. The dark sky was above me and even though I was sinking I could still see them. He was forcing her into a car. As my lungs felt ready to burst I saw her kick off a single red high-heel.

It fell into the water above me and I remembered. I had this dream every night. Her name was Taylor, and every night I remembered exactly at this time in the dream that it was a dream. I had never been able to save her because I could never remember in time. The second I tried to breathe, I would start to drown.

I tried to breathe. I began feeling tossed and turned like I was going down I giant drain. I hated this part. Earlier in the dream, I couldn’t think straight. But now I was able to realize just how badly I had failed her. I could have helped. But I didn’t. All I wanted was to help her. Just once. If this dream was going to ruin my life and make me die in my sleep every night I wanted to save her. Even if it was just once.

I saw the red high-heel floating above me. I didn’t think high-heels really did that but that wasn’t the greatest of my complaints with this dream. I looked past the heel to the sky and saw the car on a ridge. It was stopped and cops were helping the woman, Taylor, out of the car. The man was in handcuffs. I hadn’t saved her, but she was saved. The first time my dream had ended happily for her.

Then I felt it. I was being pulled out of the water. I was being saved. For the first time, the dream wouldn’t end with my drowning. I was pulled to the shore and I closed my eyes. I breathed air. I would live. For the first time, I would live.

I woke up to my alarm. I instantly shot up. I hadn’t woken up because of my alarm in over a month. I wasn’t overly tired. I got up and looked at the pile of shoes. I tilted my head and furrowed my brow. I had a pair of red high-heels sitting side by side next to the disorganized pile. I got up and examined them. They looked exactly like they did in the dream. Then I saw the label, the brand name was Taylor.

Photo By: Serhat Beyazkaya