Humans At Lunch

Humans At Lunch
By E. M. Areson 
Sometimes I wonder about the humans I live amongst. They are inferior that is true and they are cruel but they have a strange knack for getting in trouble. Like today, just a normal day for a Metry in disguised as a human in a normal high school, in a normal town.
We were eating our mid-day meal, one the humans refer to as lunch. The need for humans to eat three times a day has added more sizes to my waist then I’d like to admit. I was eating the human delicacy of mashed potatoes and mystery meat. My human companions, my friends according to the human term, were already finished when they begin their escapade into foolishness.
“So Mr. Ankleron wanted me to join swim and I was like fat people don’t swim. He can’t figure out why I don’t do sports and it’s like, dude fat people don’t play sports!”
 I would like to interject something here. My human com- I mean my friend, James, is not fat. That being said, he’s a larger size than any of my people; but like I said I’ve gained a gut from the human obsession with food too. You might say he was a normal human other than that, the same goes for all my… friends. I can’t say if I appear normal to them but I haven’t been called into question yet. Even though I sometimes joke about being human; they are so blind to some things, like me not being human.
 My friends are some of the loudest people on Earth, contrasting starkly with any Metry. We have often had troubles with a neighboring table yelling at us in human cuss words about the roundy behavior of some of the males at the table. Today was no different, except it escalated quicker and left a bigger impact... on the cafeteria wall.
“Will you shut up Fatzo!” A gawky teenage guy from the other table yelled at James.
“You’ve got a nerve calling me fat; if you were drowning I could throw you a cheerio to save your life, Beanpole!”
“You want to know what I think,” The gawky teen then proceed to cuss us out.
“You shouldn’t be that mean to the people around you, James. One of these days someone will get you and get you good for all the trouble you’ve given them,” This wasn’t the first time I’d given this warning.
James ignored me, “Oh yeah, at least I’m not an imbecile!”
The guy jumped up, he was tall, “Do you wanna go?”
“I’d love to go to Mcdonalds, thank,” James smiled sarcastically.
“I was thinking the hospital, Butterball.”
James stood and I knew this was bad, “James…”
“Bring it Rawbone.”
 I’d tell you about the fight but to be honest Metry are so nonviolent we don’t even play sports. Seeing an actual fight made my stomach turn, especially since I was worried about one of my best friends getting hurt. Of course, that being said they just kinda looked at each other before the gawky teen pushed James over a chair and he tripped. James was okay, with the sight exception he dented the cafeteria wall and had to go to the nurse for his headache.

 Seriously, I don’t understand why the humans aren't extinct yet. They’re so foolish, but then again, they do have their good points. That’s why we study them, to understand how they can be so stupidly optimistic. Then again, I suppose being such fools does that.

Photo by: kermen tutkunova


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